I’m staring the sky. Everyday. I’m watching like a guard. Clouds guard. 🙂 This is my addiction. I’m analyzing where they come from, what kind they are, what weather they’ll bring, what mood will give? Read the sky like a book. And then came the time when I start photographer them. If I don’t have camera with me I use just phone. No matter if I’m driving a car, walking with son, going on shopping, sitting at work front of window, cleaning my house . . I’ve never pass indifferently. And I realized about that quite recently. I’m “sky stalker” – for many reasons.
It’s beautiful, calming, gives you nice background for thinking. For me it’s also private connection with something or someone. I believe.
So it’s very special when I look up the sky, and strongly hope she’s somewhere in better place. And maybe she’s looking at us, and can see the Jakob somehow? How wonderful and special he is, how smart and intelligent, sweet and innocent, touching, funny, inspiring. . .and I wish she would be here. And regret that cannot be part of our world. And that she was late to even met him, and that also Jakob will never meet her in reality. Shame. I’ll never understand how and why that happened? So many questions without answers. Someone told me once “Does not fight with God” and that’s it. It’s like that. We need to accept it to move on.
Sometimes it’s much harder to face off your lost. If you’ve deep feeling that someone was murdered by the disease. After painful, and long battle. After strong faith that everything will be fine at the end . . . It’s extremely painful and disappointing.
Mum what I will tell him? How to find words to describe your precious and positive person you was. You was that one in a million, that everyone felt you. Warm personality, always honest and good, positive energy. You was good spirit for everyone.
So I’m staring the sky hoping you watching us and dreaming that sun is your smile.
I’m thinking and miss you every single day. Yes.
I’m sure that for all of you, whom had experience with this subject the answer is yes.